To Closer to Me

Devin and I went to the movies yesterday to get out of the apartment for a bit. There were a number of films that we wanted to see, but we decided on Spanglish, starring Adam Sandler. When we got to The Bridge theaters, however, we saw that the 9:45 show was in the Director's Hall, a posh theater with leather seating and a $14 ticket price. After coming to grips with how lame the internet can be, we scanned the board and decided upon the 9:45 showing of Closer. I wasn't disappointed, however, as my viewing pleasure was just about quadrupled because of the lovely Natalie Portman. Thank-you movies.com for your lack of accurate information!

In a nutshell, the film closely follows four characters and their romantic relationships. The story is a convoluted dance of love, lust, jealousy, and manipulation. The characters all cheat on each other, either because they realize they are in love with someone else or because they are trying to get back at the one that just left them. If you had told me the story before I went into the movie, I probably wouldn't have seen it. Frankly, there are a few situations in my life which, I know, would just be too close to home for me to enjoy such a plot. However, even though I really shouldn't, I actually enjoyed the film. Immensely, as a matter of fact.

As a basic philosophy, I feel that one should seek out the best possible partner for him or herself. Being in a serious, committed relationship with another is not a reason to not give another a chance. Now, before you stop reading this post, hear me out. I'm not, by any means, advocating cheating or polygamous relationships. Cheating is deceitful, cowardly, and above all, extremely disrespectful. Polygamy leads itself to self-doubt, distrust, and disease. Neither, in my opinion, is a favorable way of life. What I do believe, however, is that if one is in a relationship with another and they start to fancy someone else, they should address the fact with their partner and work through it. It is far better to confront such a situation in a brave manner and be honest with your partner, even though it may hurt them deeply, than to try and "protect" them while you run around with another person because, in reality, you're so ashamed of your actions you can't come to grips with actually admitting that what you're doing is wrong. Sorry, like I said, cheating is a sensitive subject with me.

So, if cheating is something I despise so much, why did I enjoy the film? Well, I'm a pretty open-minded person. I try to analyze a situation from both sides and remain completely objective in order to understand both viewpoints. I make my decisions based upon reason, not emotion, even if it means taking a side not favorable to a close friend or family member. Now, I'm always tactful in my words, but honest as well. When it comes to cheating, however, I'm not open-minded at all. The person who cheats, in my opinion, is always wrong. I don't even want to hear why, the person being cheated on is always the victim. Closer, however, expanded the way I now think about cheating by helping me to understand the other side, something I've never been able to do before.

I still don't condone cheating. I still think it's one of the vilest things one can do while in a relationship. I still feel that it's an unfair thing to put someone through. However, I now understand the other side. The movie was so good in showing the pain and confusion of the cheater that at times during the film, I almost felt more sorry for them than the person they were cheating on. I started pulling for the cheater, hoping that they would be with the other person and would leave their significant other behind. More than likely, my philosophy of being with the best mate is what really drove my thoughts, but for a time, I could actually sympathize with those I can't stand.

I can't possibly imagine - and hope I never can - what is must be like to choose between two people you're in love with, but I do think I'll be more sympathetic to those who are in such a situation. Cheating, in my opinion, is still never an option, but I realize now how much courage it must take to confront the person that you love that you may be falling for someone else. However tough it may be, it's still the best option and really the only way to show the person that you're with that you still really do care about them. Hopefully they're mature enough to understand and love you enough to let you go. I really want to see the film again, however, just to confirm that I still feel this way after another viewing. I want to know that I wasn't simply caught off-guard by it's charm and its soundtrack, including one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. I wasn't able to stay objective during the film, because it is so enveloping, so I need to see it again to confirm that it is my mind, rather than my heart, that's driving this post. Look for an update in a future entry, perhaps.

What do you think: do I make sense or am I completely messed up? Did you think the same things after seeing the film or do you have another take? Leave a comment to let me, and others, know.