Merely Freshmen...

Last night Jun Han came over to my apartment to show me the film Fog of War. A few more close friends came over - Chris and Wan - to share in the experience, and afterwards, we all sat around for a while and chatted about the message of the film and it's portrayal of people and events, such and such. Anyway, as we sat there chatting about everything from the film to senior photos, I was overcome with that feeling of complete comfort. I realized that I could say absolutely anything to them or tell them anything and that they would simply accept me because we're that close. At that moment, I felt as if I'd grown up with them.

I looked over at Emmy, who I've only known for a couple months now, and who just met these friends of mine, and wondered what it was like looking into this intimate and close group of friends. I wanted to know if someone could tell how close we are by the way we act or if it's just a feeling that's contained within each one of us. So, I asked her and she said she could tell we were comfortable with each other because we harass each other quite a bit and allow each other to come and go freely without knocking. The funny thing is, I didn't even really realize that we do those things. I suppose the feelings of closeness that we have with each other are apparent to others, but that the physical actions just don't do justice to what is actually felt between us friends.

Then, after thinking about this for a good party of the day, I ran into Wan on campus, and she asked me if this has been my best year at college. This semester has been great, but I had to tell her no, because I still feel that freshman year was the most fun I've ever had in my life. She too, agreed.

We then started reminiscing about the birthday parties we used to throw for each other, the next one more creative than the last. The late-night chats shared between fifteen people and three cartons of ice cream. The mattresses in the hallway so we didn't break out necks while trying to break dance. The blockades we create with the tables at EVK and Cafe '84 so we could all sit 'together.' The list goes on and on. We formed relationships that first year that have carried us through college, even though we've all changed to some degree in the years we've known each other.

It's sad, because, although I'm an optimistic guy, I have a feeling that things are going to deteriorate once we all graduate and move to different parts of the world. I just look at my parents and see how many of their college friends they still keep in touch with: none. Then, I start to wonder, does everyone else at college become this close with this many people? I know other dorms who didn't bond like we did, and other groups of people who lived in Marks Hall and didn't even like the people who lived with them! Maybe it's just a serendipitous chemistry that we all had with each other. Look at romantic relationships as an analogy...some couples act as if they've known each other for years even though they've been together for six months, and yet others spend their entire lives together and never really ever fall in love. I then wonder what kind of relationships my parents had with their friends. Were they just friends, or did they have that kind of chemistry that us Markshallians have? My guess is the former, which gives me hope that maybe we all will stay close, and that when we get together for our five year reunions (2010, 2015, 2020, etc...), things will be just like they were in the fall of 2001. Either way, I've decided to treasure these people, those from freshman year and the ones I've met since then, for the moments we have together, because I realize now how rare people like them can be.